Help Thou Mine Unbelief

I was a brand-new teenager and had just experienced profound loss.

It felt like the world was falling apart. But I said God was there. I said He cared. 

And He did. 

Sometimes I hear negative words. I hear the church being criticized. 

Sometimes doubts creep into my mind. 

But I tell myself: I know what's truth and what isn't. God is truth. He is light.

And He is. 

I really struggle making choices. "I need some direction!" I cry.

It feels like He isn't listening sometimes. 

But I say to myself, God cares. He's aware of my life and won't let me make the wrong choice. He listens to me. 

And He does.


The following is an excerpt from the book Life of Pi by Yann Martel. If you aren't familiar with this book (now movie), our protagonist Pi is floating on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean with a 450-lb. tiger named Richard Parker as his only companion.

From Chapter 74:

     "Sometimes my heart was sinking so fast with anger, desolation and weariness, I was afraid it would sink to the very bottom of the Pacific and I would not be able to lift it back up.
     "At such moments I tried to elevate myself. I would touch the turban I had made with the remnants of my shirt and I would say aloud, 'THIS IS GOD'S HAT!'
     "I would pat my pants and say aloud, 'THIS IS GOD'S ATTIRE!'
     "I would point to Richard Parker and say aloud, 'THIS IS GOD'S CAT!'
     "I would point to the lifeboat and say aloud, 'THIS IS GOD'S ARK!'
     "I would spread my hands wide and say aloud, 'THESE ARE GOD'S WIDE ACRES!'
     "I would point at the sky and say aloud, 'THIS IS GOD'S EAR!'
     "And in this way I would remind myself of creation and of my place in it.
     "But God's hat was always unravelling. God's pants were falling apart. God's cat was a constant danger. God's ark was a jail. God's wide acres were slowly killing me. God's ear doesn't seem to be listening.
     "Despair was a heavy blackness that let no light in or out. It was a hell beyond expression. I thank God it always passed. A school of fish appeared around the net or a knot cried out to be reknotted. Or I thought of my family, of how they were spared this terrible agony. The blackness would stir and eventually go away, and God would remain, a shining point of light in my heart. I would go on loving." 



I really loved this chapter. The reason I share it with you is this: God doesn't always seem to be listening. Sometimes we get swallowed up by all of the awful things going on in our lives.

Sometimes our doubts overwhelm us and God doesn't make sense anymore.

This happens to EVERYONE, do you hear me? Everyone.

The important thing is that you remind yourself - sometimes even verbally, as Pi did - God cares. He hears. He knows. 

Even if you don't feel like it. Even if you can't see it. You already know. God has made manifest the truthfulness of Himself and His gospel to you before. He didn't suddenly cease to exist. It's just that the world is a tumultuous place sometimes, and it's easy to lose track of what's real and good and what isn't.

Be the one who's willing to show God that you'll hang in there. Even when it's hard. Even when you feel far away from the Spirit. Hang in there. Keep the faith. Reach out.

Be the one to exclaim, "Lord, I believe. Help thou mine unbelief."

We all struggle with unbelief sometimes. Push through. Carry on. Remind yourself of God's goodness.

It might take a minute, it might take a year. But I promise that God WILL help take care of your unbelief.



Thanks for sticking with me. I love you all, hope you had a great weekend!
Haley.

dispelling doubts

Our simple human minds have so many flaws.
One of them is that we doubt. A lot.
Even when God has shown forth many signs and miracles, we still doubt our faith. We doubt our testimonies. We doubt that God is real.

"Did I really feel those feelings?" "Have I really had a witness?"

One of the greatest skills that you can learn is the ability to have faith even in times of doubt.
Because we all have times of doubt! Even those who have always been strong in the gospel, even those who have always had a testimony, everyone has moments where the devil puts doubts in their mind. And sometimes these doubts are hard to dismiss.

But the important thing is that you don't let these doubts into your heart. Remember the love that God has shown unto you throughout your life, and try and keep those grateful thoughts in your heart and in your mind so that your doubts will go away. Don't even give negative thoughts the time of day!

Sometimes we lose that conviction that we once held, usually because we have not nourished our testimonies well enough.
You guys, it happens. And it's okay. We aren't perfect, and God doesn't expect us to be. What's important is that you continue to show faith and trust in God, even if you are struggling to feel Him near you. The more you exercise your faith and do all that you can to believe, the more open you will be to feeling the Spirit, and that is how you can banish doubts from your mind.



Jake's Story from Milestone Creative on Vimeo.


"Even if I have to pretend I believe, maybe that's better than what I've been doing."


Doubts come. They come because Satan doesn't want you to feel loved or feel the joy that comes through the knowledge of Christ's Atonement.
But they can be dispelled. Heed President Uchtdorf's advice and "doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith." Hold strong to what you know, and exercise belief and hope in the things you aren't sure about.
Remember the counsel given in Doctrine and Covenants section six:

22 - Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.
23 - Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?
When you doubt, consider the times you have felt the Spirit. Consider the times you have felt God's love. If you once knew for a surety that God exists and loves you, is that not still true now? 

Do all that you can to feel the Spirit close to you.
In the video, he said, "There was no book on Atheism that could make me feel that way. In an instant, I knew I was loved, I knew just how lost I had been, I knew I was saved, and I knew I was home."

The Spirit is really the one who can drive doubts away. Because the feeling you get when you learn of God and of the truthfulness of His gospel is unmistakeable.

Yes, doubts come. But the important thing is that we ignore them and that we continue to exercise hope and faith, even when times are hard. Show God that you are willing to trust that He is there, even if it is hard to believe it sometimes. I promise that as you open up your heart and come unto Christ, you will know through the power of the Spirit of the truthfulness of this gospel.

Have a great weekend, and keep the faith!

Haley.