Help Thou Mine Unbelief

I was a brand-new teenager and had just experienced profound loss.

It felt like the world was falling apart. But I said God was there. I said He cared. 

And He did. 

Sometimes I hear negative words. I hear the church being criticized. 

Sometimes doubts creep into my mind. 

But I tell myself: I know what's truth and what isn't. God is truth. He is light.

And He is. 

I really struggle making choices. "I need some direction!" I cry.

It feels like He isn't listening sometimes. 

But I say to myself, God cares. He's aware of my life and won't let me make the wrong choice. He listens to me. 

And He does.


The following is an excerpt from the book Life of Pi by Yann Martel. If you aren't familiar with this book (now movie), our protagonist Pi is floating on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean with a 450-lb. tiger named Richard Parker as his only companion.

From Chapter 74:

     "Sometimes my heart was sinking so fast with anger, desolation and weariness, I was afraid it would sink to the very bottom of the Pacific and I would not be able to lift it back up.
     "At such moments I tried to elevate myself. I would touch the turban I had made with the remnants of my shirt and I would say aloud, 'THIS IS GOD'S HAT!'
     "I would pat my pants and say aloud, 'THIS IS GOD'S ATTIRE!'
     "I would point to Richard Parker and say aloud, 'THIS IS GOD'S CAT!'
     "I would point to the lifeboat and say aloud, 'THIS IS GOD'S ARK!'
     "I would spread my hands wide and say aloud, 'THESE ARE GOD'S WIDE ACRES!'
     "I would point at the sky and say aloud, 'THIS IS GOD'S EAR!'
     "And in this way I would remind myself of creation and of my place in it.
     "But God's hat was always unravelling. God's pants were falling apart. God's cat was a constant danger. God's ark was a jail. God's wide acres were slowly killing me. God's ear doesn't seem to be listening.
     "Despair was a heavy blackness that let no light in or out. It was a hell beyond expression. I thank God it always passed. A school of fish appeared around the net or a knot cried out to be reknotted. Or I thought of my family, of how they were spared this terrible agony. The blackness would stir and eventually go away, and God would remain, a shining point of light in my heart. I would go on loving." 



I really loved this chapter. The reason I share it with you is this: God doesn't always seem to be listening. Sometimes we get swallowed up by all of the awful things going on in our lives.

Sometimes our doubts overwhelm us and God doesn't make sense anymore.

This happens to EVERYONE, do you hear me? Everyone.

The important thing is that you remind yourself - sometimes even verbally, as Pi did - God cares. He hears. He knows. 

Even if you don't feel like it. Even if you can't see it. You already know. God has made manifest the truthfulness of Himself and His gospel to you before. He didn't suddenly cease to exist. It's just that the world is a tumultuous place sometimes, and it's easy to lose track of what's real and good and what isn't.

Be the one who's willing to show God that you'll hang in there. Even when it's hard. Even when you feel far away from the Spirit. Hang in there. Keep the faith. Reach out.

Be the one to exclaim, "Lord, I believe. Help thou mine unbelief."

We all struggle with unbelief sometimes. Push through. Carry on. Remind yourself of God's goodness.

It might take a minute, it might take a year. But I promise that God WILL help take care of your unbelief.



Thanks for sticking with me. I love you all, hope you had a great weekend!
Haley.

overcoming

All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.

- Helen Keller

Is life hard sometimes, or what?! Have you ever heard stories of those people who seem to just have the worst life ever? Maybe you are that person - that person who has simply come across a lot of heartache. 

Life's pretty much tough by definition. But your life story should not be one of sadness! You have such an incredible future ahead of you! 

I recently read Anthem by Ayn Rand. Basically it is one of those futuristic dystopia type books where the government controls everything and people are not allowed to think for themselves. *Spoiler alert: In the end, the main character recognizes society's flaw and runs away into the forest to live a life of his own... alone. 

Yeah. The end. 

So I was asked the question today in English, "why is this a story of hope and liberation instead of one of despair?"

Well, let me tell you. A blank slate - a future that is yours for the taking - is such a beautiful thing. Whatever is behind you, whatever you have learned, can only help you from here on out. 

You could start a brand new life tomorrow, you know! Wake up and decide "today I am going to be someone important." 

Our God is a God of second chances. He offers peace. He offers a new perspective. 

You can make your life a beautiful one of service, love, and happiness. You have a blank canvas in front of you, it is up to you what colors to paint it with. 

Be optimistic. Life comes with trials, bumps in the road. But life keeps moving forward, and if you do your best to move along with it, you will see amazing things you could never see before. 

Thomas S. Monson said that often "We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone.”

Having a negative attitude always makes things seem worse than they really are. When we have hope and look for bright days ahead, even the days we are living now will feel more glorious. 

I've been so so blessed with school this year. I have always been one to stress a lot about school. Even though I keep excellent grades, I've always stressed often about all the homework I have to do, all the tests to study for, etc. etc. 

I was so scared for this year because not only is it junior year in high school - in my opinion one of the hardest and most important - I am also taking 10 credits at the college a half hour away so that I can get a couple years of college in before I graduate. Anyways, over the summer I was so scared I was going to be overwhelmed and had a knot in my stomach every time I thought about all that I was trying to take on. 

Then something crazy happened. School started, and I really do have quite a lot of homework. But I am not stressed. I really don't even know how that happened. I have just gotten into a routine where every day I look at my planner, I make sure I am prepared for the next day, maybe I do some homework due in the future, and I call it a night. 

I'm not sure what changed that I have been so much more chill about schoolwork this year. I work just as hard. But I don't let myself worry so much. 

The days will pass. I could spend all day stressing about a test, but whether I spend the day stressing or not, the next day will come. The test will pass. It will all work out, and in a week I will have forgotten about being worried in the first place. 

Things are never as bad as they seem. Life is full of tender mercies and happy surprises. Be happy. Don't worry so much, and you will be more satisfied with your life. YOU can overcome. And you can help others overcome. 

I thank God for bright futures.